If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
