guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
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