Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
You were trust falling into bushes
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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