32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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