Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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