I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize