just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
