I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
