Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
