I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I got her a Nickelback box set.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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