Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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