We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
