You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
