So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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