Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Randomize
