i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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