Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
