My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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