woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
