Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
