It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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