If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
