We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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