i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
It's Friday. Sex?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Randomize
