____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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