GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
