i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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