shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I met the friendliest cop last night
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
