Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
