apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize
