Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
