Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Randomize
