Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
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