chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
barbara walters just said penis...
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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