Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
