things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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