dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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