We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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