Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize