And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
