he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
My vagina is very pro this idea
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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