bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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