I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize