And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
