i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
