I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I queefed so loud it echoed.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
