I could have mohawked her pubes.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
