Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
