do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Everyone says I win the strip club
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
