There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
The feeling are messing with the penis
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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