his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize