there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
