In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
