Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
