also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
