Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I fill condoms, not promises.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
