I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
