shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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