'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
