I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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