If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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