I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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