Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I'm so fucking centered right now
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
